Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Healing is about caring?

Aurik at /hug put up a comment on my post yesterday that I wanted to highlight, saying "healing is about caring". I just love love love that comment and said that it made me want to be a better healer, or at least a nicer one.

That got me thinking this: Do you think that us healers are expected to be "nicer" because of our role as healers compared to tanks or dps? Because we are all about giving life and all things good and tender and green and leafy? Is it more noticed if a healer is less than nice than a tank or dps?

Anyways, let's look at a guild conversation from the other night shall we?

Wutan: Don't let me die, ok K?
K: Ah Wut, don't worry. You've got my leet healz.
Wutan: True. I got me some bitchin' heals!
Slight pause
Wutan: Acutally I got bitchy heals!
K: Sigh... I was actually going to say it, you just beat me to it.

Now where did I get this reputation from? Well perhaps because I am usually the first to say or do something that most likely everyone is thinking already... even if its something you possibly shouldn't say or do. Let's examine where I might have gotten this tag a little further with a hypothetical.

Let's just say, hypothetically you know, that there is a resto druid. And let's say this said resto druid continually (five times a week maybe) gets asked to heal 10 and 25 man raids X, Y, Z by someone. Now let's assume, hypothetically still of course, that this said resto druid does not know this person at all and has never actually raided with this person. This person only knows the resto druid through other friends, friends who they don't even know that well.

Now let's continue hypothetically that this resto druid started by coming up with excuses like they weren't going to be online much longer, or were going to go on guild runs, or that they were already saved to those raids. But let's say that this person keeps asking said druid without picking up a clue from weeks and weeks of excuses. To the point where this resto druid is forced to straight up ignore requests and vents her annoyance in guild chat with perhaps an expletive or two. Hypothetically... of course.

So what would you do? I'm wondering if I have to pull up those standard lines that I've used before in real life. What should I say? How about:

- You are a (insert tank type) tank. I'm really only looking for a tank healer relationship with a (insert another tank type) tank.
- I'm sorry but I'm already healing another tank.
- Its not you, its me. I'm just not ready for another tank healer relationship.

Hahahaha sigh. No but seriously, I'm annoyed that this person has forced me to go to that bitchy place (really Wut, I am!). Do I just have to come right out and say, "Look I'm sorry but I have no interest in healing any of your raids, please stop asking me?" Seriously, am I just down right mean? Sigh... perhaps.

Anyways, this post started out one place and circled around to who knows where. But I am going to come back to where this post started. I will definitely try to repeat the mantra "healing is about caring" when I'm feeling less than nice. Thanks Aurik!


  1. Well, you may be a bitchy healer K, but you are OUR bitchy healer. ;)

    Having raided in all three roles (tank, healing, dps), I would suggest that tanking and healing may actually be more "aggressive" than dps. It may have something to do with those roles as being more reactive to unexpected changes in the situation. A tank or a healer is very much fighting for something. Going back to your previous post regarding what makes a good healer, I think an appropriately aggressive attitude is an important part of it.

  2. Jess has a great point regarding tanks and healers needing to have an aggressive attitude. And I think "caring" has a lot to do with both roles.

    Good healers care about keeping their tanks up. Good tanks care about keeping their healers safe.

  3. "I have to wash my hair/mane".

    "Don't whisper me, I'll whisper you".

    The "I'll call you right back" aka simply never responding will work wonders after awhile as well

  4. lol love the breakup lines. But consider this... being a caring person and being a foward, direct, or downright bitchy person do NOT have to be mutually exclusive propositions. Be your full self. You're beeeeeeautiful, baby! =)

  5. @Jess and Misneach: A good healer needs attitude? Then I must be... awesome?

    @Beru: Ooh good one. I need to wash my leaves?

    @Sylly: Aw thanks Syll!

  6. Hello,
    I think that I sometimes FEEL that I need to be more quiet, get on with my job, deal with things.
    I'm not sure if this is because I am both a relatively new member of my current guild, or because I feel that as a healer I need to "be nice", but sometimes I have just wanted to scream.

    In Naxx I noticed that I was dying to say, "we need to stack better" on Thadd, but knew I would get shouted down by a particularly loud tank.

    Healers seem to be expected to simply do what they're told and when they're told it, rather than offering an opinion on what might be best. This seems especially prominent in small guilds without set healing officers or frequently even assignments.

  7. It's funny, my main raiding role is heals (Resto Druids FTW). I noticed that when I heal, I am a lot more vocal about what is going on. When I dps, I will bite my lip to not say anything.

    There aretimes though, that I just HAVE to say something, eg. if someone is giving info that I know is wrong and I know will wipe the raid. Or if we keep wiping and I know there is a better way or can suggest a possible alternative, I will.

    Call it bitchy or not, it is also self-preservation and keeping the repair bills low! And the only way to advance is to stop wiping!

  8. @K: From the way Jess talks about you, I'd say you're pretty l33t. Attitude and all.

  9. @sofandtree: Oh my goodness. First of all no one should be shouting down at you!

    But I do understand some of what you say. I hardly said anything when I first started running in this guild. I just shut my mouth and healed my ass off.

    Compare that to now where I actually tell the tanks where I want them to tank a certain boss. The other week on Ulduar I told Paradise I wanted him to tank XT-002 at the left of the room. He said that he didn't like doing it there, but would do so since K said so. Hee hee.

    As a new guildie, you're right... it may require you getting to know the guild better and running with them longer before you feel comfortable speaking up. But if they are yelling at you, I would question whether you want to stay that long.

    @Zaralin: Yay for vocal resto druids! :)

  10. and what about those of us who work both sides of the equation. Both my mains are tank/healer dual spec.

    Nothing like a split personality to liven things up :)