I'm not really sure how to start this post, as this is an incredibly difficult post for me to write, one that I've put off writing for a bit. I have a lot I want to say, but I'll start with the most obvious and maybe go backwards from there.
This blog, Tree of Life, is going the way of our old tree form. OMG the irony! Heh. But seriously, this blog is going where resto druid blogs go to hibernate. Wherever that is, I'm sure Phaelia, Bell, and Amanna (do some of you guys remember Amanna from way back in the day?) will welcome me with branchy arms. :)
For the last couple of weeks, I've actually taken a break from the game. As I shared with my guildies, I have some other aspects of my life that I need to focus on right now. I last raided with the guild over two weeks ago and those last raids were incredibly hard for me. Tears were literally streaming down my cheeks and I think some people died because their grid boxes got a little blurry. Oops.
I think the incredible draw of WoW for so many of us is how sneakily it brings in this social network and real meaningful friendships, right inside your house. It's incredible how you end up talking to your friends and guildies in game more often than you talk to your closest friends. It was incredibly difficult for me to imagine not having that.
So my break from the game started early this month but I wanted to think very carefully about what I wanted to do with this blog before making any rash decisions. I guess I just wanted to make sure that things felt right. It's a decision that is still very hard for me, but I know it's the right one to make right now. I guess my head says I need to do it, but my heart is a little sad. I was a little concerned that I was so sad over closing this blog, but then again I guess stopping something after doing it for over 3 years, no matter what that is, is a bit of a change.
Now in terms of the break from WoW, while I was initially kind of worried about it, it's actually turned out really well. As I told Jess the other night, I'm really really happy right now. Things are good, and it has seemed like my life and various opportunities have opened up to fill the space that WoW used to occupy. Who knows, maybe they were always there and I can just see them clearly now. But this doesn't mean that I don't miss the guildies tremendously, because I do. :(
Jess has known for the last couple of months that I was struggling with this decision. In discussing it, we talked about this whole concept of real life and online life. I'm not sure it's completely right to say that I decided I was going to focus on real life right now. Because who is to say that my online life wasn't "real"? The incredible relationships, the camaraderie within the guild... damn straight it's all real, damn it!!! (Could I say damn one more time?!?! Hmmm) Perhaps as this whole MMO phenomenon develops over time, there will be less of a distinction between real life and online life, and that your online life is just a part of your real life. I think that's the balance I need to find for myself right now.
Am I going to come back for Cataclysm? I don't know, but I hope that I do. Part of my reasoning for this break is to just experience my life without WoW for a while so that if I do come back for Cataclysm I can play it with a better sense of balance, a balance within a fuller and richer life, if that makes any sense. Will I start blogging again if I come back for Cataclysm? I've learned that you can never say never, so really I don't know.
While I know I don't do any sort of serious posts here, I think I've also spent too much time reading other blogs and trying to finding stuff I find humorous to post about here. I think if I do come back for Cata, the time spent playing WoW should be enough. We'll see. It's hard though because I've really fallen in love with this blog and blogging. So much so that yes, I am going to start a personal blog where I can continue to crack myself up with completely random stuff and not have to try to relate it to WoW somehow. I'll probably end up sharing some more personal stuff on there as well.
To my guildies, thanks for creating an incredible family. I'm so glad that while we had some minor ups and downs that we generally always kept the mindset of a group of friends hanging out together through raiding. I've also loved that you guys read and commented on this blog. And to Jess, you know what you've meant and continue to mean to me. When I think about WoW, this old screenshot is what will always come to mind:
So thank you to everyone who has read or commented over the years. I've really loved being a part of the WoW blogosphere and having those familiar names pop up on my comments. I don't kid myself at all and think that this blog made anyone play WoW better or provided any real game strategy beyond blaming all bad things on the tanks (t'is true! It's a good strategy!). I guess what I do hope is that I made you guys laugh.